All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I need to stop coming to work sober
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize