I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
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So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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