You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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