What a fucking waste of an outfit
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
