Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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