Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize