so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
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