he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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