Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
