Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We got so high we made milksteak
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
