I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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