Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
