My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
