i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
