The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
