I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
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