i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
