chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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