maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
