i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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