It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
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