She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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