Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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