New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
