He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
