sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
