worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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