I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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