I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
