Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
