If i could tip my vagina, i would.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
