i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize