the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Are my feet made of real feet?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
