My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
