So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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