Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Of course I have a pirate flag
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
