how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
