this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
