I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
