If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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