If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
