Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
