i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
