I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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