Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.