my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?