This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
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i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
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I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?