If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek