I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
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Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love