so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
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Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.