he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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