Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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