Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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