i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize