so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I am naked and annoyed.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
