if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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