David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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