If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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