Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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