im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
