Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
