No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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