i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
