Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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