I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize