Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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