We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
