Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Buhtt sex?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
