I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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